My thoughts seem to get to me lately. There making all the decisions for me and kinda leaving my heart out of the equation. Im not sure why but i cant seem to make anything work. I remember when i was so happy…but now my life has changed and moved foward and i suppose im in a time where everything is just going to shit. So i guess ill just keep going cause i honestly dont have any other options, but should it be this much work just to get out of bed in the morning. Cause all i can think is how long the day will be, with people and drama and all the other bullshit. I used to have the ability to cheer people up and help out a little. These days i feel i shouldnt cause i cant even use the advice im giving them.. I really wish i could go back about 10 months and just stay suspended in time there.
March 2009
1 post
February 2009
15 posts
Ugh i got sick the night before the parade and nao i cant go, IM PISSED. I wanted to hang out with people and my saturday got ruined. Hopefully things will look brighter sometime this week. Honestly im hoping that me and her go somewhere but i feel that she believes she has matured past me now, and thats what i am, the past. I really hope that she starts to feel differently. I know i hurt her in the past, but i want to make all that better now. I want her to be happy, and i wanna be happy too. I want us to be happy together, but im sure this wont go anywhere. I guess ill just keep trying
I just woke up and am about to leave for school. Last night i had the most interesting conversation with the most interesting person. It made me happy to be talking to them again, and i had a good dream, i dont know if they directly relate but maybe. I hope that in some way i will be able to fix the broken ties that i used to have to her and start over. O maybe she doesnt really want to, but anythings worth trying i suppose.
OOOOOOH and something im fucking sick of.
PEOPLE WHO POST TUMBLR BLOGS ABOUT THE SAME OLD EMO SHIT like, running away, overdosing, hate…you know who you are
i guess i always knew it wouldnt last. But i cant be in a relationship where im not happy. Its hard when you love someone but your not happy. IT doesnt make much sence i know, but its over now, no point in splitting hairs.
ARG I FUCKING HATE MY CAMERA!!! do you see how blurry it is
if you have a camera that you dont really need anymore and your not gonna use it please send it to me, as long as its better then this shit.
Im not much of an artist, but im an ok photoshoper. I dont usually do things like this but i hope you like this. I love andy warhol, and this is a tribute to him
A couple nights ago i had a dream that affected me pretty significantly. Most of the time i just have bad dreams or no dreams at all…but then this happend. I dreamed that i was standing in a crowd of people and there was one man, well just his black outline standing on the top of a skyscraper. He pointed and i turned my attention to the city streets. There i saw an army approaching upon the town. The people ran in fear but i stayed. The figure was still held aloft the building and he spoke. With one word the army fell to its knees, it was almost crippled at his presence. Then again he turned in the oppisite direction and large black monsters were approaching the city now. Again the people ran in terror. Simply he stomped and the monsters legs were broken and they couldnt move. For the third time he turned. and with one hand lifted the people of the city close to him and said “all will be fine” at that moment there fear was quelled. He floated down to the ground right next to me. I froze and turned to look into his face. All that was there was a mirror. He was gone. Ok so, i didnt pull any of this shit out of story books, this is was my actual dream. Im hoping that this is a foreshadowing of my future. I hope that i will be able to change the world, save many, and stop armys in there tracks.
Science and math are to logical. Most of the discoveries in life have been made by people who think outside the box. Life is so beautiful and science and math give reasons why everything is. It robs us of what little beauty we see in the world. I try to avoid paying attenton in those classes cause i still have some perception of the world stuck to the back of my mind.
Lyndi said
If i had and easy button you would take advantage of it
Another day in my life passes. I have so many questions but not many answers. Im starting to question more and more the existence of god. It used to be so simple, go to church, listen, pray, and you were christian, but i have to wonder…If there really is god and he is “all knowing” then why would he (knowing that who he created would go to hell in the end) create people. He gives us free will but he knows what we are going to be doing anyway. So when life ends he knows if we go to heaven or hell. Its kind of like having a baby just to beat it for its whole life. This s simply one of the things that is bothering me lately…I have a mental list, but im to dazed at the moment to recall it.
Happiness. This word is tossed around often. If you have read my myspace you know how i feel about it, but for those who dont, i feel it is something earned from hard work and determination. One of my favourite quotes was by andy warhol who said “I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of ”work,” because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don’t always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep.” I believe this helps show how happiness is earned. Being alive is the hardest work anyone, from homeless to rich, has to live with. Through living we find adversity. We overcome it and move on. No matter how hard, life will keep moving on even if we desperatly want it to end. With these trials we become hardened, better people. This is how happiness is obtained. Because before you are happy you must understand the value of what being happy means.
okay since no one really understands the reason im just like SAUCE, FAILSAUCE, etc. here is the story. Months ago my friend william and i were talking and i told him i had invented lagsauce, for comps that run rly slow. So we started saying that. A few days later camille decided my hair was amazing and called it jesus like, then i named her camillesauce for no apparent reason. Then she named me jesus noodles for my hair and she likes ramen. So even a few more days l8r, i saw some fail pics. I invented fail sauce. THEN WE JUST STARTED PUTTING IT AT THE END OF EVERYTHING!!! we use it at the end of both our names and it just kept going on and on…now its almost like a fucking legend. :) I R ERICSAUCE!
I spent most of my day thinking about….
I love you lyndi…
My new blog for people who actually care about what i do in life. Read and enjoy. Ill try to keep it updated
